We cannot exactly measure how much of an impact trauma has on the long-term wellness of a family member or friend, leaving us to make assumptions about what we think passes off as good treatment. You may have the capacity to help, but it matters just as much to let your loved one know they’re not alone in facing their emotional battles.
The sooner you realize this, the better you are at helping them heal. All it takes is to learn the right steps without bypassing your loved one’s emotions and capacity to grow past a traumatic event. To get started on this, the quick guide below points you in the right direction:
1. Know About Trauma and Deal with Misconceptions
Being an observer of someone who is going through trauma, you might think that life for them will get better, but this thinking only underestimates the actual toll on the person suffering from it. Some of these misconceptions are either influenced by the culture where you grew up or based on personal experiences you think serve as worthy parallels. For example, some trauma myths in Southern culture see trauma as a “phase” everyone has to go through and isn’t worth mentioning to others.
Possessing the same beliefs won’t help you become better at giving genuine care. It only worsens the situation for your loved one, so the first step is to be aware of trauma’s symptoms and how it has developed. You may not be an expert, but having such a level of awareness will help you acknowledge trauma as a serious condition.
2. Communicate with Empathy and Listen with Compassion
Trauma is more than just being in a depressive state. Your loved one may look fine on the surface, but they could be dealing with a range of emotions they can’t seem to control. Anxiety, paranoia, and a desire to be alone indicate severe distress. All they need is to process these feelings healthily by talking about them with someone they trust.
A desire to communicate with them will open up opportunities to identify the source of their trauma and feel confident in talking about their experiences and how they are coping. You just have to be patient. Don’t force a conversation when they’re not ready yet. If they do open up, listen with an open mind and an open heart. Do not interject and most certainly avoid trying to explain what they’re going through.
3. Spend Quality Time Together
Trauma takes time to heal, but it doesn’t mean your loved one should be boxed in. Do not force them to take up an activity or hobby. Simply asking them about what they feel like doing should suffice. Apart from suggesting creative activities, they may like to sit at a cafe or park without saying something, which is just as good.
Quality time doesn’t have to be loud or dynamic in a bid to remove them from their shell. They will learn only on their terms. In the meantime, you may join them in their quiet moments. Your presence is already enough to let them know that you understand them.
4. Get a Professional to Help Out
The most severe case of trauma can be debilitating to your loved one, so much so that they develop thoughts that are more than intrusive. You wouldn’t know for sure the full extent of your loved one’s struggles, so it would be better to yield to a mental health professional who can suggest the right interventions.
If your loved one’s appetite is disrupted and physical effects begin to manifest, find a therapist who specializes in certain forms of trauma, whether it involves loss or a terminal illness diagnosis. Their help is critical, and suggesting this to your loved one speaks volumes about your genuine concern.
Endnote
There is no universal solution for dealing with the effects of trauma. You only need to follow these basics and help your loved one feel less alone and powerless as they face their struggles.
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